Goats

     Goats are great. No one can even fathom my love for goats. They just have this thing about them. They're just so... goaty. Yeah, goaty. That's the word. I don't even understand why I love goats so much. I just do. I don't remember having an endearing experience with goats at some point in my life. It's not like I was raised by goats. It's not like I was brainwashed to have such a love for goats. They just seem so cool.

     Okay, just imagine being a goat. You're just chillin' in a field, the cool breeze is gently blowing your majestic goat beard. You're hanging out with your goat friends. As a goat, you can eat almost freaking anything, since you have such a high tolerance toward toxins, so you go over to a tin can by a road and stick it in your mouth and chew on it for a while. You just baaah at your friends to say to them, " 'Sup, bros." And they all baaah back to you to tell you, "Hey, man." And you all just stand there for the rest of the day, being goat-tastic.

     And have you ever noticed a goat's eyes? If you haven't, then here's a picture:

     Pretty cool, huh? I bet that goats are the only animals that have rectangular pupils. You know, the only other being that has pupils like that is Naruto Uzumaki in Sage Mode. Look:

     And Naruto in Sage Mode is overpowered. So that can only mean that goats are overpowered too. A goat could beat Chuck Norris in a fight. No, a goat could beat infinite Chuck Norris' in a fight. 

     If Naruto and a goat were to have a fight, then there would be an infinite stalemate. If humans were to witness that fight with their bare eyes, then their eyeballs would explode because they knew they would never witness anything more beautiful or powerful as that fight. 

     So in conclusion, goats are the ultimate form of life. And, also, if you want to become as overpowered as a goat -WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN- then you would have to somehow genetically alter your pupils into the shape of rectangles. 

     Goats are beautiful, lovely, majestic, powerful, goaty creatures.

Premature Alzheimer's

     I think I have a rare medical condition called Premature Alzheimer's. I forget everything. I don't mean I forget everything like a forgetful person, I mean I forget everything important. An example: I forgot my aunt's name until my mom reminded me what it was. See what I mean?

     When someone asks me what I did the day before, my response would be "Ummm... I really don't remember." I could have gone to an amusement park the day before, and I would have to rack my brain for five minutes just to remember that.

     You know how when you were little, you would tell someone about how your birthday was coming up and they would joke around saying, "How old are you turning, 20?" or something like that? Well, when it's one of my little brothers' birthdays, I always say something like that. Why? Because I honestly don't remember how old they're turning. I am such a great older brother.

     So, in conclusion, I probably have a rare medical condition called Premature Alzheimer's. It causes me to forget important things, like my aunt's name. Or how old my brothers are. Or what this post was about...

My Experience With Alien Vs. Predator

     Ah, Alien Vs. Predator. I remember watching that movie when I was four. And that's a little strange. You might ask me, "Why were you watching an R rated movie when you were four?" But then I'll say, "I didn't even know how to use a remote when I was four. My grandma was watching it when I got home from preschool." Then you'll say, "Why was your grandma watching that movie?" And then I'll say, "I dunno, she was probably looking for a crime show or something." And after that you'll walk away feeling kind of weird. But I'll cut to the chase.

     So I come home from preschool and my grandma is sitting on the couch watching this strange movie. So I walk over and sit with her. I can't remember our conversation, but we were both mesmerized by what was on the T.V. screen.

     With all the violence and gore and stuff, I can't believe that my four year old mind wasn't shattered and traumatized. I just sat on the couch, watching. My grandma did the same. At first glance, it was a typical scene. Just a grandma and her grandson watching T.V. But once you look at the screen, you'll see AN ALIEN HUNTER MERCILESSLY KILLING EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH! Yeah, but later in my life I'll learn it was a typical scene. At least in my crazy family.

    Anyway, it's near the end of the movie when Predator burns the symbol on the woman's face. And when that happened, I remember my grandma saying, "What a brave woman..." I felt the same way. And then comes the scene where Predator is on the ship and  some kind of hybrid Chestburster pops out of his ribcage. The end. Gee, thanks Grandma for letting me watch such a horrific movie. Actually, I thought the movie was cool (even if it was a bit corny) and I spent nice, quality time with her. So, seriously, thanks Grandma.

     OH CRUD! A XENOMORPH!